i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize