Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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