Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
