Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
