Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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