drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
