I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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