this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
