Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
