Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
