Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Drunk is not a location!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
