she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize