k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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