i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
