You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
