There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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