OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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