toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's never too late to be topless.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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