I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
