no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
