I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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