You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
