How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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