he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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