If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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