well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
