I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
