Swine flu. Run for my life!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you didnt know i had herpes?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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