I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
