According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
