i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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