Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
