the condom got lost in my hair
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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