ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
