Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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