he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
