; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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