they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.