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3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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