Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

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(281): 3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals. http://tfl.nu/21ij

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she woke up with a sticky ear

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(732): she woke up with a sticky ear http://tfl.nu/pkqo

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(214): View more from Texas

Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS

(210): View more from Texas

Put my glitter back.

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(214): Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS (210): Put my glitter back. http://tfl.nu/4pgc

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(806): View more from Texas

Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...

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(806): Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can... http://tfl.nu/qmq9

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(804): View more from Virginia

it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate

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(804): it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate http://tfl.nu/8imj

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(302): View more from Delaware

I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.

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(302): I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays. http://tfl.nu/ol44

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(727): View more from Florida

found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

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(727): found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain? http://tfl.nu/or8y

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....

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(601): Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it..... http://tfl.nu/aiat

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(252): View more from North Carolina

He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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(252): He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it. http://tfl.nu/4vqb

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(231): View more from Michigan

FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today

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(231): FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today http://tfl.nu/dvgl

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I have major gossip for you.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh no, did you have sex last night?

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.

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(570): I have major gossip for you. (1-570): Oh no, did you have sex last night? (570): If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited. http://tfl.nu/1upd

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.

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(423): Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/tqj8

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(937): View more from Ohio

They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.

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(937): They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed. http://tfl.nu/xvv6

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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(724): We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians http://tfl.nu/50hn

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(330): View more from Ohio

i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense

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(330): i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense http://tfl.nu/4n80

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