y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n