Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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(770): View more from Georgia

Tell her she's as useless as a condom.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad

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(206): View more from Washington

He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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(302): View more from Delaware

She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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(563): View more from Iowa

WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.

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(431): View more from

My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets

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