My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
