I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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