the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We're too hungover to prance.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
