the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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