And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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