What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
