dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
