Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
