Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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