i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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