he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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