Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
