just come out here and I will go home with you...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
