Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
