tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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