So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
