just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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