Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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