What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
