I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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