so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
