OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize