I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
